That escalated quickly
by RaidenKyuuketsuki Productions
Summary: After getting caught in the act for doing something he will forever regret, Sasuke finds himself hiding away from Sakura's eyes and their class contribution they call 'Marriage Booth'. Unfortunately, his best friend doesn't know a thing and Itachi is a conniving bastard with his minions that he can't do anything but to stop the wedding. but who's wedding is it really, Sasuke?


DISCLAIMER: **Sooner or later, Masashi…sooner or later. *rubs hands together* but not now, no. *sighs* also, the page break quotes here isn't mine also. I got it from a genius called google.**

WARNING: **I don't know if this can be considered T or M, but I'll just put it on M because you'll never know. Some of us might think that this is only T rated but there are people who are sensitive out there so, yeah. Better safe than sorry. **

**Unbeta'd.**

**This is only a one-night sitting written story, so don't expect for more. And I tried to be funny, key word, being tried, so bear with me. Thank you.**

AUTHOR's NOTE: **Okay, so I got this Idea when I was browsing through old photos from college and I saw a picture of me and my friends on a Marriage Booth. We have different booths from different classes that happen every Last week of January because of an event every school year. It's like a cultural festival in schools in Japan where there's a lot of food stalls and different booths assigned to different classes. So yeah. I hope you enjoy this and review anything… (Even pointless shits are welcomed.) **

**And I know, it has a lot of page breaks but as if you people care right? The page breaks are interesting enough for me. So I hope it can satisfy you also. And damn, I actually planned this as SasuNaru. Like, really, but then it ended up as this a NARUSasu. I don't hate NaruSasu one bit, I actually really like it so much that even my hands decided to rebel against my mind but I just noticed that there really is a lot of SasuNaru fans out there. I'm right, aren't I? I mean, yeah, SasuNaru is definitely the most obvious thing especially at the canon, but don't you like it when there's this very Seme!Naruto with his chiseled tan abs and his muscles with his six foot five or whatever height you imagined Naruto will be while banging our Bastard tsundere SasUKE while he screamed harder and deeper? *coughs* anyway, my point is, this is not my fault it ended this way. But look on the bright side; Sasuke and Naruto are still paired up together. Ah, my OTP. My babies.**

* * *

Haruno Sakura isn't scared. Nope, not one bit. She doesn't care if after all of this plotting will lead to her early death as long as she will die with a happy, smug and a very satisfied feeling, she doesn't care. Sasuke can glare all he wants the whole day and all those fan girls can scream all they want but she will not be deterred. A girl on a mission is a girl with determination, and that is who she is right now. her other friends already agreed, just that they're just going to work at the background, not yet ready to die through one Uchiha's evil hands. But that's okay with Sakura, as long as she have an ally, no matter what happens this plan of her will be executed. Even if her eyes pop out from too much imitation of an Uchiha death glare, she'll give it all her best. After all, they're only half way through the day. She can do it.

"I told you, Uchiha Sasuke isn't available. Now scoot, I don't want to see your ugly ass around my marriage booth until you drilled inside your mind that Uchiha Sasuke isn't available to marry you." Sakura snapped at the 49th girl who came by her (but really, it's their class') marriage booth and asked to be married to Sasuke.

Even though she used to be a Sasuke fan girl and knows how they felt whenever a rejection comes to them, Sakura doesn't care one bit. The only thing she's concerned about is to marry Sasuke to his all time, secret-to-the-whole-world-except-Sakura-crush. Oh how loud she cackled evilly the moment she found out about the inner most feeling of the famously known stoic and cold-hearted Uchiha for his best friend not really best friend. To think that all of those smirks and glares thrown at his blonde best friend not really best friend were the substitute looks for adoration and love that you're supposed to give to your crush. Ah, Uchiha Sasuke is definitely a huge enigma.

"Sakura, how are we going to make money if you keep on doing that to our customers?" Neji hissed when he saw another wailing customer walked out of their booth.

"What? You gonna do something about it, pretty boy?" Sakura hissed back, glaring once again at the shocked brunette. "If you can give me a costumer who doesn't want Sasuke as their lawfully wedded fake husband, then I'll shut up."

Neji just narrowed his eyes.

"See? All of them want a piece of Uchiha ass and you know I can't let that happen. Sasuke's going to marry the love of his life even if it kills me in a fan girl war." Sakura huffed once more and glared at the shy looking girl with a grinning blonde girl dragging her.

"Forehead…" Ino grinned widely when she spotted the guy she wanted to marry to her friend.

"Pig, Sasuke-kun isn't available." Sakura growled under her breath but Ino just rolled her eyes at the pink haired girl.

"I have a boyfriend, unlike you, Forehead."

"Why you.."

"…Marry Hinata to Kiba." Sakura's ugly scowl was replaced with a huge shit-eating grin the moment she realized what her rival said. Hinata squirmed on Ino's hold on her arm blushing from head to the tip of his toes if that was possible.

"NO!" Neji growled beside Sakura, his fist curled at the fabric on the table that is used for the wedding ceremony.

"I heard that you haven't earned more than fifty bucks today because of Sasuke-kun's unavailability so you should be happy about this, Hyuuga." Ino challenged Neji, not noticing that her grip tightened around the wide-eyed Hinata.

"I don't care about your five bucks right now; my cousin isn't marrying dog-boy whether it is the fake or especially the legal one."

"…Fifty bucks, marry Hinata to Kiba." Ino said nonchalantly. It's not like those were her money, she just won those from her bet with her boyfriend.

"Call. Inuzuka, Come here, I have a job for you!" Neji agreed immediately and it made both the pink head and the blonde to cackle like a witch after eating Hansel and Gretel.

"Neji-niisan!" Hinata called after her cousin, unable to move because of the grip on her arms and Sakura and their other classmate, Sai, putting on wedding clothes for her.

"Seems like Neji-san's reputation as the class president is so much more important to him than letting you marry a flea-bag, Hinata-chan." Sai commented which earned himself a slap on his bare stomach and a kick on his shin.

And so the wedding started…

**-Marriage is a relationship which one is always right and the other one is the husband-**

Sasuke was seething. He was livid, wrathful ballistic and every synonyms that can be used for angry. He should've known better. That innocently evil ex-fan girl of him will be the death of him. Just when he started to trust the evil creature named Haruno Sakura, this event happened. He already knew the moment that that pale hands owned by the satanic female raised up to volunteer in making a booth for a charity that will be given to the newly built orphanage that his life will be like being hang on a rope with only two choices. Climb up and be eaten by a pink menace or climb down and be SWALLOWED by a pink menace.

He doesn't know what to choose, really.

It wasn't his fault that he got caught masturbating while chanting his long time crush's name. It's the pink head's fault for being a curious cat. Well, okay, so maybe it was also his fault for masturbating inside the said girl's room while the main star of his dream was sleeping peacefully, half naked at the female insect's bed. The idiot was ass-drunk wasted and too tempting and he was also kind of drunk so it was a good thing that he only touched himself and not crawl on the bed and ravish the blonde presented before him.

His logical senses were still a bit sober for not thinking of harassing the sleeping blonde there and then.

When asked why he just didn't lock the door, his excuse will be on the line of "It's inevitable, you're the owner of the room. You're bound to open it even it was locked." He knows that it sounded stupid even in his head, but when you're caught in the middle of pleasuring yourself, shit happens.

Well, at least the blonde didn't woke up at Sakura's shriek at finding his Sasuke-kun masturbate in front of his best friend not really best friend and at Sakura's squeal of delight when Sasuke confessed to him that yes, he's in love with an idiot.

Sasuke shook his head.

He's been hiding at the school canteen because there are lesser people since all of the foods are placed outside for the event where you can buy it on different tent, depending on the food they're selling. He got a text from Shikamaru that another group of girls came by their booth asking for a marriage with him. And it was the 59th group. Just how many girls are enrolled in their school anyway?

"Yo, Chibi-tachi!" He almost groaned at that greeting, knowing exactly who has the guts to call him that. A large arm was place on his shoulder while a blonde and a silver haired man occupied the seat in front of him.

"Kisame, Hidan and Deidara, just the people who I wanted to see." He muttered sarcastically and moved to his left to give the big guy who has his arms wrapped around him a place to sit.

"Fucking definitely Itachi's little brother. The asshole's just as much of a bastard as he is, damn it." Hidan grumbled and raised his feet at the table between them.

"Will you please be a human for once and remove those unearthly feet of yours." Sasuke replied back and glared seething at the silver haired man.

"Fucking Hidan, your feet smell shit, yeah. Put it down before Kisame pull a shark on you, yeah." Deidara swatted the legs in front of him.

"Do you have a death wish blondie?" Kisame barked angrily at the grinning blonde.

"Uh-oh, now Kisame's going to fucking pull a shark on you, fucking dick-head. Fucking deserve it, bitch." Hidan exclaimed loudly, his laughter not dying even when Kisame's glare was directed towards him.

Sasuke just sat there bemused at the things his older brother calls his friends. How can Itachi spend every single day with them, he wouldn't know. Though right now, this is so much better company than the people back there whom HE calls friends and classmate. He felt a vibration beside his thighs and confirmed it was a phone when Kisame pulled it out of his pocket and read the text in it. Sasuke was about to take a peek when he saw his brother's name on the screen but unable to do so when the bigger guy moved and presented his back at Sasuke. The scowling Uchiha crossed his arms on his chest and slouched on his seat.

"You two, stand up. Itachi wants our help." Kisame called out the two still bickering idiots and grabbed for their hair to make them stand faster.

"Ow, Fucking shark-man will you fucking cut it out you dipshit!" Hidan cursed loudly while still being dragged on the hair by Kisame while Deidara just pouted but followed willingly lest his head will sooner or later be bald. Sasuke just shook his head, again and continued on what he was doing before those friends of his incarnate brother of him came and that is…well, nothing. Back to staring into nothing, thought Sasuke.

After what felt like forever for the hiding teen but was just mere five minutes, he saw the three previous idiots who sat with him awhile ago with his brother behind them dragging a shouting and thrashing blonde boy whom Sasuke recognized as his best friend the moment he opened his mouth.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARDS YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL I WAS ABLE TO SHOOT THAT LAST SHOT OR ELSE WE COULD'VE LOSE BY ONE POINT AGAINST OTO HIGH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME PUT ME DOWN!" The blonde shouted, not minding the people laughing and staring at them.

Naruto kept on thrashing on the three's hold on him. Deidara was holding his left hand while on the other was Hidan and holding his two legs were Kisame since he was bigger. Sasuke's eyes widened in shock but he were frozen in his seat. Why were they carrying Naruto like that? Sasuke thought but instead of helping his best friend, he just opted to watch and sat still on his place while the disturbances occurred outside. He'd rather watch his best friend peacefully than regret it later for coming out of his 'Hiding'.

"As much as I like the idiot, I still care for my sanity." Sasuke mumbled guiltily then went back to staring into nothing.

**-A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband-**

Uzumaki Naruto's day started wonderfully. He was surrounded by different types of food, there are no classes because of the event, there are a lot of chicks from the other school who visited their school for the event and they have a game against their top rival, Oto High. He was even more thrilled when their team was able to win by two points against Oto High because of his last second three point shot and although he's a bit sad that his best friend slash rival slash he-feels-something-funny-whenever-he-was-around didn't watch their game, he's still ecstatic when all of his team mates and their coach carried him and threw him in the air for winning the game for them. After that, the team was treated to a lot (and when he say a lot as in literally A LOT) of food available at different tents and stalls by their coach for doing a 'Very youthful job in winning'.

But then, suddenly out of the blue after he came out from the comfort room near their canteen, he got mugged by his senior teammates and carried off to wherever they have in their sick twisted mind. Or mostly by the team captain Uchiha who was walking behind them the whole time. After a minute of shouting and cursing the four seniors to the depth of hell, he just stopped and sighed dismissively. Kisame got his feet, as if he can do anything about it.

"You know, I'll sue all of you for kidnapping me." If his hands were free, he would've crossed it over his chest and pout like a child.

"Don't worry Naruto-kun. You can sue all you want, but keep in mind that we're doing this for you. In the end you'll be the one to benefit from all of this." Itachi answered calmly like he was just explaining how blue the sky is and what his favorite color.

"Well, being carried like this around the whole campus doesn't benefit my image, that's for sure." He mumbled silently and was only answered by a deep chuckle from the older Uchiha.

"Well, we fucking don't want to carry you around dipshit, so shut your fucking mouth and let us fucking carry you like a bitch, mother fucker." Hidan bit back at him, not really pleased at carrying a six foot one blonde dude. He'd rather be carrying a five foot four chick, thank you very much. Naruto just sulked some more, blocking the sound of his blonde senior and the silver haired bastard's nonstop arguments and didn't notice that he was being taken to their class' Marriage booth. He just came to his senses when he was put down none too gently by his very charming and lovable senior. Yes, it's sarcasm.

"What the hell is wrong with you people? Seriously?" Naruto rubbed his backside and bottom and glared at the four towering senior around him.

"Hn. Haruno, here's your order, now what about our deal?" Itachi turned back at the pink head standing behind a podium with white cloth draped over it like a tiny altar.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll get to that later." Sakura replied, her excitement evident on her voice.

"What the hell's going on?" Naruto looked around and saw that he was definitely at the marriage booth their class was operating. "Why am I here?"

He almost screamed at the evil look the occupants of the booth gave him and tried to walk back away from them. He shrieked (A manly shriek if you ask him) when two huge arms gripped him under his armpit and a black cloth was placed on his eyes, rendering him blind. And again, he found himself thrashing wildly against the monster's hold and kicking whatever his legs could reach.

"NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? I DON'T DESERVE THIS WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO MEAN!" Narutos shouted and felt a yarn big enough to stop his incessant shouting. Now he regretted opening his mouth THAT wide.

"Tie him please." Sakura ordered. The grin on her face, so wide, it almost made the audience wince at how it probably would hurt after that.

"You better pay us back for doing this pinky, or else I wouldn't know what would happen to you after all this, yeah." Deidara narrowed his eyes at Sakura while tying the rope around Naruto, who already stopped moving but continued on shouting through muffled words caused by the yarn on his mouth.

"Shut up, Blondie. I didn't ask you for this. It just so happen you're one of Uchiha-senpai's minions." Sakura bit back not minding one bit that she's talking back at her senior. Deidara stopped moving and stood up straight. He flicked his hair back and cracked his knuckles.

"That's it, you're going down!"

How come my wonderful day ended like this? Naruto thought bitterly before he heard a distinct sound of clothes being ripped and sound of crying cat.

And then chaos ensues…

**-Marriage is a wonderful thing. You get to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life-**

Deidara was not having the time of his life right now. First of all, he got stuck at doing stupid job for Itachi because apparently, he was one of his minions. He mentally growled at that thought. Secondly, that pink haired bitch just doesn't know when to back down and annoyed the hell out of him and lastly, Kisame and Hidan just won't stop laughing at him for getting beaten by a girl and for howling like a cat in heat during their girl fight, which was definitely not a girl fight, Deidara thought.

"Damn, that was one of the sexiest girl fight I've ever seen." Kisame mumbled silently to Hidan hoping that the blonde man who was limping in front of him didn't hear him. Unfortunately, Deidara heard it.

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU I'M NOT A GIRL AND THAT WAS NOT A GIRL FIGHT, YEAH?" Deidara shouted then winced when he put too much pressure on his left leg where the Haruno girl bit him.

"Could've fooled us since you kept on shouting with that high pitched voice of yours." Itachi smirked at the expression Deidara had on his face. Hidan and Kisame guffawed behind them, Hidan leaning at the taller man from too much laughter.

"Shut up. I don't have a high pitched voice, yeah." Deidara defended back, this time with his voice lowered. "And why do we even have to do this for those midgets, yeah? It's not like we owe them something." Deidara paused, then gasped when he looked at Itachi and the Uchiha looked back at him pointedly.

"Oh shit…don't tell me…? Yeah?" Itachi just nodded stiffly at him, obviously displeased at that fact.

"Fucking fuck, what the fuck is it, dipshits?" Hidan asked frantically, feeling left out for a minute.

"You don't need to know, yeah?" Deidara snapped at him then walked much faster so the deed can be over and done with. "Now where's the hell that Chibi-Tachi went?"

The four of them stalked off to their previous location where they last saw the youngest Uchiha. They found Sasuke sitting peacefully, munching on an onigiri with his head phones place on both sides of his ear.

"We should do a sneak-attack, yeah?" Deidara Suggested. Itachi shook his head no.

"That's not going to work on Chibi-Tachi. Both he and Itachi are Jiu Jitsu masters or something along those lines. You're down even before you say the word yeah." Kisame chuckled under his breath when Deidara scowled and glared at him.

"Then what do you suggest? I want this over now, yeah." Itachi looked at him slowly, his face void of any emotion and stared openly at the blonde.

"Simple."

**-My husband and I never considered divorce…murder sometimes, but never divorce-**

"Some chick is marrying Naruto-kun right now as we speak."

When Sasuke heard what his brother had said, he first contemplated on ignoring the devil named Itachi because that would seem impossible since, well, he was talking about Naruto. But then he remembered the scene earlier where the three of them were carrying him to where their booths were located, so before his brother or one of his minions speaks again, he stood up and bolted out of the canteen, forgetting the reason why he was hiding in the first place.

When he finally got there, he saw the blonde still on his basketball jersey with a blind fold on his eyes and tied on a chair in front of the make shift pew where Sakura was standing, barking out orders at the poor students around her. Even Neji who was the class president was fixing the flower vase.

"What the hell are you people doing?" Sasuke stood just behind Naruto. On normal occasion, Sasuke would've noticed that there's no other occupant – a girl, to be exact – on the chair next to the tied blonde but since it wasn't a normal occasion and his panic made him lose a bit of his intelligence, he just continued on doing what an Uchiha wouldn't do.

Shout AND Rant.

"You should know when to stop doing this, Sakura! You keep on forcing people to marry someone just for the sake of money and I know this marriage isn't real and the money would eventually go to the charity, but for fuck's sake, this isn't funny!"

Silence reigned after Sasuke's sudden outburst and shock was written on all of the faces that were around when the Uchiha finally snapped. Mouths wide open and eyes widened were mostly the expression the students were wearing. Mostly, except for the evil and plotting Haruno Sakura who only smiled smugly the whole time, Uchiha Itachi who was standing just a few feet away from the scenario looking like the definition of evil, Uzumaki Naruto who really wanted to laugh but can't because of the yarn in his mouth and Hoshigaki Kisame who broke the silence by his rambunctious laughter.

"Ah, I can almost see our ancestors rolling on their graves right now." Itachi walked closer to his brother and patted him on the head.

"Shut up, Itachi. You're also a part of this. You should be ashamed – Stop trying to laugh idiot, or you'll just kill yourself!" Sasuke hit Naruto's head who kept on laughing (trying, actually) and just won't stop moving on his chair.

"So Sasuke-kun, you said something about being forced to marry someone right?" Sakura started with an innocent look, but Sasuke now knew better than to believe that look on the female's face. Sasuke just directed his glare at her. "Then how about this…" everyone around them stood still, waiting for Sakura to continue.

"MWHAAh!" Naruto shouted something like a muffled 'what?', also getting impatient with all of what's happening behind his blind fold.

"I SAID SHUT UP DOBE –"

" – STOP TALKING NARUTO – "

" – FUCKING HOLD STILL FUCKTARD – "

" – I'LL HURT YOU, YEAH – "

" – CUT OFF YOUR EARS, UZUMAKI!"

A simultaneous shouts directed at the blonde erupted after he said just one – ONE – word after being tied for almost half an hour. He tried to mumble 'sorry' and breathed a sigh of relief when it seems no one's going to threaten him again. Or disarm him, actually.

"What about marrying the willing to another willing participant? That's what this is all about right?" Sakura finally continued which triggered an almost heart attack from Sasuke. _Shit Shit Shit_ is what kept on going off in his head.

"I don't see something wrong there, Sakura-san." Itachi nodded and smirked when his brother turned to glare at him.

"So, is there someone willing to marry Naruto, here?" Sakura asked her smile a picture of innocence but her eyes says otherwise.

"Wait! The idiot isn't willing!" Sasuke protested that made Itachi chuckle in amusement at how his brother's acting so out of character.

"Kiba, please take off Naruto's yarn." Kiba marched over at the blonde begrudgingly and pulled the yarn off, grimacing at how wet the other side from Naruto's saliva.

"Ew."

"SHUT UP DOG BOY, I DIDN'T ASK ANYONE OF YOU TO PUT SOMETHING ON MY MOUTH AND PULL IT OFF FOR ME AFTER DROOLING ON IT FOR AN ASS ETERNITY!"

"Not even a second before it was off and he is sputtering nonsense already." Neji sighed dramatically.

"WHAT YA SAY, PRETTY BOY – "

"SHUT UP!" Sakura growled and looked pointedly at Naruto, though it's kind of useless since the blonde was still blind folded. "Naruto, do you want to get married?"

"HELL YEAH! WITH WHO? THIS WILL BE FUN!" The oblivious idiot exclaimed. 'Check.' Sakura thought.

"See? Naruto's _Very _willing. Now, who wants to marry Naruto?" all of those who know about Sakura's plan raised their hands and yes, even Neji and exclaimed 'I do'. Naruto grinned wider. Sakura's eyebrow rose when she saw a group of girls standing beside their circle who raised their hands as well. "Wow, the freshman rookie has fan girls too huh…" She whispered under her breath.

"I didn't know you have that much fans, Naruto-kun." Itachi chuckled, thoroughly amused at the situation.

" – Well, I'm not one of them, yeah. You just threatened me to OOOF!" Deidara groaned beside Itachi when the Uchiha punched him on the gut but still standing straight and looking like a perfect image of a prince.

"Not me, though. I'd fucking tap that fucking ass, dipshit!" Hidan exclaimed loudly, waiving his raised arms wildly.

"There will be no ass-fucking here, Hidan. This isn't a real marriage." Sasuke muttered through gritted teeth. His hands curled in a fist.

"Sasuke-kun, no fighting." Sakura tutted at him then continued after taking Naruto's blind fold off.

"OH LIGHT I MISSED YOU!"

"Now, in all of these people around you Naruto, who do you want to marry?" Naruto looked around and chuckled when he noticed a lot of people with their hands raised. But his smile faltered a bit when he saw his best friend's hands curled on each side of him. He just smiled sadly at Sasuke then looked back at Sakura.

"I guess I'll just marry – "

"Me."

All eyes, for the second time that day, turned to look at the youngest Uchiha. His face red from embarrassment and his eyes looked anywhere but the blonde in front of him. Sakura just smiled wider but her inner self was by now celebrating success and dancing wildly around with maracas on each of her hands.

_Check mate. _She thought.

"And there you have it. Now let's start the ceremony that will bind our two lovers here, Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto for their marriage. Father Shikamaru, please let's start." Sakura announced, bouncing on her feet from too much excitement. Shikamaru slowly walked towards the podium slash altar and grumbled 'troublesome' under his breath, then started reciting his script as a priest. Sasuke was just standing beside the now untied Naruto, his face even redder than before from the lovers comment that Sakura made while Naruto stood awkwardly, his hands kept on scratching the back of his neck. Everything just came in a flash that they didn't notice that they're actually participating at the ceremony and reading the 'Vows' that was written on a paper for them to read, both their minds floating off to somewhere and going in circle on the word Lovers . And before they know it, the ceremony ended and Shikamaru declared;

"You may now kiss the…kiss each other all you want; it's too troublesome to pick who's the bride here."

Naruto turned to look at Sasuke a bit unsure, his hands still scratching furiously at the back of his head. Sasuke was frozen on his spot and only moved because Naruto tugged his arm to face him.

"Hey, Bastard, aren't you gonna kiss your husband?" Naruto whispered sheepishly. Sasuke looked up at Naruto's shining blue eyes and bit his lips and without saying anything, grabbed Naruto's face and pulled him forward to his mouth. Their lips crashed with each other, Sasuke's arms encircled around Naruto's neck while the blonde's own wrapped around the Uchiha's waist. Clapping, shrieks and shouts of congratulations were heard around the whole booth but neither Naruto nor Sasuke gave notice at their surrounding instead continued on kissing each other like it will save them from hunger which was probably right but not hunger for lack of eating but hunger from desire. When they pulled apart to breath, Naruto grinned at the raven while Sasuke just smiled softly at him.

"I've always wanted to that to you, idiot."

"Ditto. So maybe we can do it again?" Sasuke just nodded then met Naruto's lips half way and resumed kissing each other. After a few more pecks, Naruto pulled back and turned to look at Sakura. "Hey, where's our honeymoon suite, damn it?"

"Uh…" Sakura blinked then pointed at a vacant room just behind their booth. Naruto grinned again then looked back at Sasuke who just looked at them questioningly. Naruto then crouched and slipped his left arm behind Sasuke's knees and his right arm around the Uchiha's back and walked fast towards their 'Honeymoon suite' carrying the protesting Uchiha, bride-like.

"You Idiot, put me down!"

"Hey, I didn't stop you when you kissed me because you've always wanted to do that to me. Now don't stop me now because I've always wanted to do this to you." The newly-wed's voices slowly vanished as they moved far away from the booth and into their suite.

"Damn, that's fucking hot, yeah!" Deidara muttered under his breath. Itachi heard Deidara then turned to look at Sakura.

"Sakura-san, there's a free honeymoon suite, right? Marry me and Deidara."

"Sure!"

"Itachi, what the hell yeah?"

"Damn fuck, that fucking escalated damn fucking quickly."

**-Marriage is a work shop. Where husband works, and the wife shops-**

**OMAKE 1… Hidan's slip up.**

"Oi Kisame, what the flying fuck were Itachi and Deidara talking about they owe from the pinky bitch?"

"Sex tape."

"Fucking – what?"

"Deidara accidentally left Itachi's phone with their sex video at Pinky's house after a party."

"Wow. Kisame.."

"What?"

"Should we make a fucking sex video too? There's a fucking free honey moon suite, dumbass."

"…"

"Fuck. I fucking didn't say anything, asshole.

* * *

**OMAKE 2… They secretly like each other**

"Itachi, what the hell do you think you're doing, yeah?"

"Taking your clothes off."

"Why?"

"For sex."

"Why?"

"Why 'why'?"

"Do you even like me?"

"Do _You _like me?"

"Yes, you?"

"Yes, how come you didn't tell me?"

"You didn't tell me either."

"Okay, now that's out of the way, let's have sex."

"Wait, so you secretly like me, yeah?"

"…"

"Oh you do! You secretly like me, yeah!"

"It's not a fucking secret anymore, Deidara."

"Why?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, because you already know now."

"Oh. So you do like me, yeah?"

"…"

"Itach – ughnn..yeah baby deeper!"

* * *

**OMAKE…3 My Bitch**

"Sakura, you really love to annoy me, don't you?"

"Hmm, what's that Neji?"

"You're a bitch."

"And you're my bitch, now stop talking and count the money."

"…"

"You heard me, move pretty boy."

"Shut up….I'm counting already."

* * *

**OMAKE 4… Kiba wants some but can't get some**

"Uhm, Kiba-kun? What's the problem?"

"Uh…Hinata, Naruto said..uhm…"

"Yes?"

" – Naruto said there's…"

"Oh, Kiba-kun, Neji-niisan's calling me. I have to go. Bye."

"Oh…yeah. Bye."

…

"There's a free honeymoon suite if you like..*sigh*

* * *

**OMAKE 5… Naruto's funny and Sasuke's not serious**

"I can't believe I had my fake honeymoon inside a dusty old laboratory room."

"Hey, at least it's romantic."

"Where's the romantic part here, idiot?"

"The part where you're screaming my name to go deeper and harder?"

"You think you're being funny?"

"I know I'm funny."

"You're so annoying."

"Hey, bastard. On our anniversary, I want you to know how much I've enjoyed annoying you all this time and how excited I am to keep doing so in the future."

"You wish. We're having a divorce after this."

"What?"

"Yes, now whose funny now, dumbass?"

"…no one. That's just mean, Sasuke. You hurt my feelings."

"Uhm..Naruto, I was just ..uh. I'm not serious, don't cry Dobe!"

"You're not serious?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"Okay." *sniffles* *buries face on Sasuke's chest* *smirks evilly*

* * *

**OMAKE 6… Hidan just can't get any**

"So Chibi-tachi, you fucking told me there wouldn't be ass-fucking after the wedding. How come you fucking got more of those, instead?"

"You're just jealous cause Kisame doesn't want you to fuck him or him to fuck you."

"I'm not fucking jealous, you!"

* * *

FIN.


End file.
